


At Night I Pray

by Dreamwind



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Song fic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-02-19
Updated: 2003-02-19
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:43:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2075463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamwind/pseuds/Dreamwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes our thoughts get the better of you. Sometimes you just need a helping hand to save you from the darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Night I Pray

**Author's Note:**

> Another old, OLD fic from my High School days. So not as good as my current work, but hopefully something you'll enjoy.

~ So alone  
And this room feels so cold  
No one to care and no one to hold ~

 

WuFei sat alone in the dark of his room. The flickering light of a candle his only illumination. He sat on the floor cross legged, thinking deeper and deeper. If the other pilots came into his room, which was rare, they would think him meditating. Peace of mind and body however, would not come to the Chinese beauty.

 

~ Yeah the lord knows  
That I'm needing somebody like you, just like you ~

 

His mind continued to wander to the fey American pilot. He paled at the image of memory. They had just been captured by OZ and were locked in a holding pin on the moon base. When he had seen Duo pushed in handcuffed and beaten, his heart had cried. It had cried out for justice, for him to destroy whoever had beaten the beautiful youth. He had wanted more than anything to run to Duo's side and promise him with hugs and kisses, that everything would be okay. He couldn't. Not with Heero there.

 

~ Can you see  
The passion burning in my eyes  
Do you sense  
The rush you give my heart ~

 

Time had passed slowly in the cell. far too slow for WuFei. Every time he opened his eyes there was Duo, Heero kneeling by his side. WuFei knew that Heero had been checking the Americans injuries, but it had still pained his heart to see the two boys together. Trowa had come days later, taking Heero with him to fight rouge Gundam. That left WuFei alone with the object of his affection. Duo. He had been so scared that Duo would see through his illusions, and know just how much the pilot of Shenlong loved him.

It never happened. Their oxygen had been cut off and they were going to die...alone, together in this prison. The only thing WuFei could think about doing was saving Duo. He managed to calm the braided boy down and when Duo wasn't watching him he went into a form of stasis. His heart and breathing slowed and he began to lose consciousness. He must have been lost in a dream, because he heard Duo speaking, no pleading with him! "Hey, WuFei, I'm lonely. Keep me company till the bitter end."

 

~ And if you knew  
The secret way I feel for you  
Would you come running  
To me or would you turn away ~

 

His feelings for Duo were so strong. He couldn't imagine life without seeing those large violet eyes and that beautiful smile. He felt so much joy when he was near Duo that he didn't know how to react. So he didn't. He wanted to just take Duo in his and and give up his heart and soul to the long-haired American. He was too scared though. What would he do if Duo turned away disgusted? His heart couldn't handle it. He had already lost his wife, he didn't want his love to cause him to lose Duo as well.

 

~ At night I pray  
With hope and faith  
As I lay me down to sleep  
I pray together we will be ~

 

Every time the moon rose into the sky WuFei cried. It meant he had gone one more day without holding Duo in his arms, whispering to him all his testaments of love. It meant another night sleeping in a cold, empty bed. It meant that when the sun rose it would all start again. Every tear he cried, he cried alone. With only this secret love in his heart to keep the cold emptiness from swallowing him whole. Only the prayers in his heart that when the end of the wars and endless battles came, he and Duo could be together.

 

~ And there will come a time  
You'll be mine, all mine  
And I'll be yours always  
But until that day comes At Night I'll Pray ~

 

He knew within his soul that the day would come when they would no longer have to fight. But until that day came, he couldn't risk Duo knowing how much WuFei truly cared. It wouldn't do either of them any good to become emotionally involved. They were Gundam pilots. Everyday they risked death. The thought that Duo could die was too much too bear, and if Duo ever felt love towards WuFei, he would have to live with the fear WuFei has everyday. His beloved could die in one of those endless battles.

 

~ Should I feel  
These emotions inside me  
Should I reveal what's locked up in my soul  
I'm so afraid ~

 

This strange love he had for Duo, was burning like the desert sun. When he was on his own he became a traveler lost in the desert, needing Duo's love like water. This love, this desire, was a ragging wildfire within WuFei. He knew that if Duo was to tell him that he couldn't love WuFei, that the fire would burn him to ash. But it made no difference now. He was completely lost in his desire for the fey pilot of Deathscyth.

 

~ But it's something you've got to know  
How I want  
To touch you everytime you're near ~

 

WuFei moaned as his pants became two sizes too small. His body had once again responded to the sexual temptation that was Duo Maxwell. He couldn't deny this proof of his lust, and he didn't and couldn't. This was as close as he could allow himself to get. he couldn't dare try to seduce Duo; to hope they could ever be lovers. Only he could give himself relief.

 

~ I long to feel  
Your body next to mine ~

 

he quietly undid his pants, pulling them off. That left him only in his boxers. His hand ran over the silk fabric, brushing against his hardness. He soon slipped off his boxers, enjoying the feeling of flesh against flesh. He clamped his hand down tight, squeezing his manhood as if to punish himself. Slowly his hand began to move and he wished and dreamed that it was Duo's hand on him. Duo's body under him, atop him, Duo completely surrounding him.

 

~ And if you knew  
The secret love I have for you  
Would you come running  
To me or would you turn away ~

 

WuFei rolled onto his side as a strong wave of pleasure washed over him. He moaned aloud and increased his pace. Up and down, harder and softer his hand moved. His eyes opened to a slit and his hormones supplied him with the erotic illusion of Duo, naked. His hair was loosely flowing around him. The illusionary Duo's hand had replaced his own and began to pump WuFei at a faster pace. Finally he could hold back no longer. White-hot pleasure drenched his senses, and his erection throbbed violently as he came.

 

~At night I pray  
With hope and faith ~

 

WuFei laid there sated in the lonely dark. His chest heaved with his slowly relaxing breaths. A long moment went by before he dared to open his eyes. His breath choked in his throat and tears formed in his obsidian eyes as he realized Duo had never really been there. The only smell of lust in the room was his. He was the only sweat soaked body in the room, that laid sprawled in his own lust. As it always was. As it always will be. Forever the SOLITARY Dragon.

 

~ As I lay me down to sleep  
I pray together we will be ~

 

Slowly he got to his feet and pulled on his pants. He didn't want his naked body found as his last indignity. Duo could never, would never be his. If this was the finial path that could bring Duo into his world, he would do it. As he put the last of his possessions away, he felt his first tear roll down his furnished caramel cheeks. He was going to join his beautiful God of Death in eternity. Together forever they would be. He sat down on his bead, propped up by his pillows. He placed the bowl of ice water in his lap then reached for the drawer by the bed and pulled out a long, sharp knife. Taking a deep breath he pushed the blade deep into his wrists. he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Slowly he drew the blade out the length of his wrists then plunged his hands into the ice water.

 

~ And there will come a time  
You'll be mine, all mine ~

 

Pain shoot through his body and the blood poured out faster and faster. The blood oozed down his arms turning the water red. It soon became harder and harder to concentrate and soon his eyes closed. Duo. his Duo. That smile spread across his face in greetings. WuFei reached his hand out and found Duo clasping it tightly in his warm hands. He could feel the moonlight dancing on his skin, making his wrists tingle. The wind danced through Duo's hair and the fey American laughed in that high bubbly laugh of his. WuFei smiled as he felt his heart brimming with the love as Duo's soft lips touched his. As the kiss deepened he felt his life being drawn into Duo. For a moment the wind seemed to carry with it a screamed filled with pain. Then it was gone.

 

~And I'll be yours always  
But until that day comes At Night I'll Pray~

 

Duo could have sworn he had heard someone calling to him for help. The pleas had been so full of pain and fear! A deep, cold fear griped his heart as he realized that only he and WuFei were in the house. he ran as fast as he could up the stairs to the Chinese boy's room. Duo flung the door back and screamed out WuFei's name in horror. WuFei was laying on his bed, one of his wrists fallen into a bowl of bloody ice water, the other laid at his side. The deep red blood had already formed a large dark pool of blood on the bed that was rapidly flowing towards the floor. WuFei had become as white as his sheets and tears soaked his cheeks.

 

~ If all my prayers were answered  
Our hearts would be enraptured ~

 

"WuFei! No!! What have you done?!" Tears fell down Duo's face in rivers. "WuFei...Don't go! Don't leave me all alone! Please!"

Duo ripped the sleeves of his favorite shirt off and quickly bandaged WuFei's wrists, applying as much pressure to the wounds as he could. Eternity seemed to come and go before the blood began to stop. Very carefully Duo released his vice like grip on WuFei and ran to the phone to call 911.

Weeks went by as WuFei slept in the hospital. the other pilots had come when they heard what had happened. They never stayed long; they had missions to handle. Duo however refused to leave Wufei'  
s side. He stayed in WuFei's room never leaving until his bladder or a nurse forced him to. Even then he hurried as fast as he could to get back. He talked to WuFei's sleeping form, hoping that maybe, just maybe, WuFei would respond.

 

~ We would find our heaven  
Inside each others arms ~

 

Another week passed by and the doctors told Duo that WuFei wasn't likely to wake up. Duo slumped by WuFei's bed distraught, now he would never be able to tell the Chinese pilot just how much he loved him. As WuFei dreamed on the verge of death, he found himself in a beautiful valley filled with flowers from all across the world. He felt at peace, yet... that voice. It was just barely there. calling out to him not to go. Why did that voice create such a longing in his very soul? Duo. Duo, my world, heart.

Duo continued to sob, his head resting in his arms. A soft hand reached out and traced a finger along Duo's jaw line, awakening him from his thoughts. Duo gasped and sat up. his violet eyes wide with surprise, seemed darker with the skin so pale.

"WuFei...you're...you're awake!"

"Duo..."

 

~ This lonely room would finally see the sun shine through  
But until that day every Night I'll Pray  
I'll get down on my knees, I'll get down on my knees and pray ~

 

Duo jumped from his seat and flung his arms around WuFei's neck. He sobbed uncontrollably into WuFei's shoulders babbling about how much he loved him and how terribly worried he had been. WuFei pushed Duo out to arms length and looked the fey boy over. Duo was terribly pale with dark circles under his eyes. His hair was a shambles, lose strands were falling out of his braid at every possible point. His cloths looked as if he hadn't changed them in weeks, and had began to smell like sterile sweat.

"Duo...you look like shit."

"I love you too, WuFei. " Duo smiled broadly then his smile faded. "  
Why did you have too...too..." Duo's sobs kept him from finishing. Again WuFei placed his hand on Duo's face.

"Duo. Look at me, Duo. Do you really love me?"

"With all my heart."

WuFei hugged Duo for all his life. Softly he whispered into Duo's ear how much he loved him and how tortured his heart had been. How he had wanted so badly to embrace Duo, but couldn't. For hours they stayed together, talking about their hearts, and WuFei knew then that he would never have to be the "Solitary Dragon" again.


End file.
